for the past week i had been covered with the feeling that there was a layer of grit getting in the way when ever i spoke to or even looked at someone. it was on both sides, mine and theirs, and left me feeling somewhat dirty and disillusioned. there was something scratching up the telescopic lens, and clarity left forever (or for a week, whichever was sooner).

the world is disappointing and it tires me out, but the cold and warmth of tonight smoothed out scratches and allowed me to move in closer to the things that i want to keep in boxes separate from rubble and safe from those with a mind to steal.

i am sorry for doubting. sometimes the only way i can think things through is to doubt them. it will make us all worn out by the time the sun rises, but we will be ten steps ahead. and night travelling is so much prettier.

i dont know, the way the night began and the way it ended are so opposite that i doubt myself above all (which is probably how it should be). i feel almost certain about something that i had earlier been trying to express doubts about. i.cant.fix.anyone. i need to write this on my eyelids and dream about it for at least a week. then maybe i will remember.

i rode by the airport just a little while ago, on my way home from time with people that make me happier than id first suspected. i used to ride by regularly, but my time then scattered and i was elsewhere and everywhere. now ive gone back to a bit of the summer routine. driving home by the airport, and watching the planes and their power...wanting to park and stay and make up stories for the people who are moving so quickly.

what does it mean to be mobile?

can someone tell me what is wise?

error. malformed request.